Sunday 25 May 2014

The last Match.com date


I’ve been emailing a guy called “Bboy” from the beginning of my Match.com journey.  We mostly just email our bad dates to each other.  He’s really funny.  So I decide to rant:

Email sent to: Bboy1980
Date: June 6 2013 - 23:11
Subject: Re: lost for ideas
Just come back from possibly the worst date yet (I probably sound like I've been on loads of dates but I really haven't).

It was ONE drink which is hardly worth washing my hair for.  Dragged myself all the way to Liverpool Street.  I asked him if he wanted a second drink (my round), he said no.  No?  Really?  Throughout the first drink he barely said a word leaving me to fill the empty silences.

He just text me to say he didn't think there was a spark and we shouldn't take it any further.  I am so insulted.  I feel like I have been dumped!  WTF was that?  What's the protocol after a bad date?  Surely you both just know and leave it at that?  Is a text necessary?

Sam

Email from: Bboy1980

Date: June 6 2013 - 23:48
Subject: You didnt change the subject
You're not having much luck with this dating lark are you? One drink sounds like a real waste of time and filling silences is the hardest thing to do. I would normally think that after a bad date you should just leave it, no need for the kick while you're down. Maybe we should meet up tuesday or wednesday and hopefully bring your good date stats up? What do you think?
I'm off to bed now, got to be up at 5. Text me if you're up for meeting.
Hopefully hear from you soon.

Kieran
X


He just seems so nice.  I’ve been emailing him for a couple of months but can’t remember anything about him from his profile.  I can’t click on him to see what he looks like as it’ll send him a message.  How bad can it be?  We arrange to meet in the Hoop & Toy pub in South Kensington.  Other than the odd work drink I never go in there so can easily delete it from my pub repertoire.  I arrange an 8pm meet up.  Clever.  Straight from work so don’t have to make too much extra effort.  I grab a bite in Pret before I go in.  I am so pleased with myself, literally checking all the good date boxes here.

Oh.  I walk up to our agreed meeting spot at South Ken tube.  There is a man who must weigh 30 stone.  He is enormously tall with this tiny little head perched on top of wide shoulders.  No neck.  His eyes pop out on stalks when he sees me.  I try not to let the total panic show.  I am not this shallow, I am not this shallow, I am not this shallow.  I totally am.

He is very polite.  He works for an IT helpdesk and lives at home with his parents.  Deal breakers.  But it’s just so nice to be on a date with someone who wants to be there and finds me as funny as I find myself.  I stay for a few drinks which we take it in turns to buy.  I kiss him on the cheek when I leave and tell him I’m going on holiday so he won’t hear from me for a while.  I don’t feel too guilty as he said in an earlier email that if it wasn’t right just walk away, no need to send rejection texts.  This is the first time I have been the equivalent of the dumper though.

I have decided my time with Match.com is up.  Is this honestly the best the UK has to offer?  

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